I want to talk to you about inner transformation. And more specifically about how messy this process can get, how challenging. Inner growth is very often a bumpy road, but for some of us it’s really bumpy (myself included). And it is for those of you who have real difficult rides that I dedicate this post. I want to explain how breakdowns are often a way of the Soul to create a breakthrough.
Breakthrough often Requires Sacrifice
My journey has always been a mixture of great challenge and great light. I live with trauma, PTSD and anxiety disorder and a big chunk of my life is struggle. And it is from this place of very intimate and personal experience with breakdowns and acute inner states and struggle, that I want to talk about how breakdown is often a tunnel leading to a breakthrough. I believe that like me, there are quite some people out there who’s journey includes shockingly difficult, earth-shattering experiences, that despite having been spiritually activated and opened, they still need to deal with their scars and deep wounds. I think people like you and me should be seen and understood more and more.
Breakthrough by nature, requires a fundamental shift and reshuffling of one’s entire being. You cannot step into your next evolutionary stage without getting rid of something about you that isn’t relevant. In other words, you must sacrifice something in order to experience a breakthrough into a new frontier. Oftentimes the way to rattle your being and allow the irrelevant to fall through the sieve of cosmic transformation is very difficult.
A Breakdown is Not Necessarily Bad
When you get to the cusp of your current evolutionary stage a leap must occur in order to move to the next stage. And yes, your Soul sometimes will use a breakdown as a tool to move from one evolutionary stage to the next. This is why I believe that seen from the right perspective, a breakdown can be seen as a sacred gateway to a breakthrough. Just imagine for a moment how would you feel if instead of judging yourself for being worn out, burned out, going through a psychological crisis etc, you would see that time as a sacred time. Granted, no one is claiming it is fun or comfortable, but perhaps it is also not “bad” after all.
Having gone through a few breakdowns in my own life, I noticed that after each one of them I grew eventually stronger, and way more conscious. It’s almost like I was born into a whole new level of subtlety and wisdom I wasn’t capable of accessing before. So while I’m not suggesting we should aspire to generate a breakdown, I do want to suggest that when it naturally occurs, it may be a gift in disguise. Some would call it fierce grace.
Your Soul is Generating Growth
I believe that breakdowns are often a way of restructuring our being on a fundamental level. Destruction is a needed stage before reconstruction. That’s to me the clearest way to depict the direct connection between breakdown and breakthrough. And although breakthrough is the goal, the path can be very messy and seem nothing like a path to a breakthrough. Often it seems like everything is collapsing, breaking down, falling apart. It feels like a destruction is taking place and it feels as if we are about to get destroyed. This can appear as anxiety or panic attacks, sudden physical illness, sometimes acute physical symptoms, psychological breakdowns, resurfacing of past trauma etc.
It can be frightening, but it is nevertheless part of a bigger process of reorganizing your being and preparing it for the next evolutionary stage. We are taught to tag anxiety, depression and psychological crisis as mental illness. But that is taking the easy way. Often, these times are an invitation to purify your being and align with your Soul on a higher level. Your soul wants to purify your deep subconscious. It wants to let go of some very fundamental hang-ups and identities. That’s one hell of a deep transformation! And naturally it can be very very unsettling. It’s not by chance that so many have claimed that the spiritual path is not for the faint hearted!
Turn Your Breakdown into a Breakthrough
In this post I hope to encourage you guys who are going through rough times, to love and appreciate your process. Remind yourself that even though it’s very difficult, it is a just a matter of time until it turns into light. Tell yourself again and again as many times as needed, that it is a breakthrough in the making. Don’t try to just make it go away! Instead, recognize how important it is for your growth. Learn to see it through the eyes of your Soul. Do everything you need to feel supported. Talk to friends and therapists. Simply make it a habit to interpret the breakdown as a positive process. Even if it feels horrible. And in due time, the breakdown will turn into a breakthrough.
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